


Memories of Possession

by androidkisser



Category: NieR: Automata (Video Game), Nier Gestalt | Nier
Genre: F/F, Implied/Referenced Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-20
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2019-02-04 14:03:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12772605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/androidkisser/pseuds/androidkisser
Summary: How do you get to know someone already so close to you?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!  
>  ~~This is a teaser for my next story, which will come right after I'm done writing Lovers. I had the idea bouncing around my head for a long time now, and I wanted to get something down on paper (screen) so that I wouldn't lose the feeling I wanted, and so I'd absolutely have to commit to it and wouldn't chicken out.~~
> 
> ~~I hope you like the concept, and I'll look forward to seeing you in the comments here when the time comes!~~   
>  ~~Lovers has a few chapters left, and then I'll be immediately moving forward to this piece, so there won't be any kind of a long wait or hiatus between the two.~~
> 
> Rating is M for now, but will likely change to E at some point. The tags will be updated as needed, since there are things I don't want to spoil, so please keep an eye on them for things you may be uncomfortable with in the future.
> 
> Let me know if you like the idea or not with a nice, cool, friendly comment on the web!  
> Arigato! (´｡• ω •｡`) ♡

While she cooked her dinner, the radio played, as it always did. She'd sing along to her favourite songs, then groan loudly when the overzealous presenters cut off the best parts, just to spew government-sponsored propaganda at her.

The 'machine war' was over, yet they had simply changed their tune to match the changing times. The focus had simply shifted from enlisting to fight, to recruitment for rebuilding – which didn't make much sense to her at all. They had legions of android soldiers hanging around doing a whole lot of nothing right now, didn't they? Why would they bother wasting their time asking the dwindling population of humans?

Kainé sighed and shook her head, as the scheduled top-of-the-hour announcement droned on and on, for what felt like a small pocket of eternity. What exactly needed rebuilding, anyway? This was a local station, and the small town she lived in had escaped any real collateral damage from the war. It made no sense.

 _Whatever,_ she concluded. It didn't affect her, so it didn't matter. That was her philosophy on most things in life now, but it didn't stop her from getting caught up in her thoughts, sometimes.

She turned back to her pot of gently simmering vegetables, poking at them with a little more force than was necessary. It shouldn't have annoyed her as much as it did – it wasn't as if the broadcasts were personalised to her apartment, but the mere thought of them asking _her,_ of all people, to help with their problems made her blood pressure rise.

The stove was on the verge of breaking down entirely; only one of the gas rings remained functional, and even then, only just barely. Her day job as a waitress in the sparsely populated town simply didn't pay enough to replace anything like that, and relying on tips alone was impossible, for a small handful of reasons.

Chiefly, the job didn't fit her personality. Her table-side manner these days was atrocious – she simply no longer possessed the patience, nor the tone, to handle even the most timid of customers. It hadn't always been as bad as it was now, but her state of mind hadn't always been this volatile, either.

The more humiliating part for her, and one of the biggest reasons she felt like throwing the towel in more often than not, was the constant question-asking over the bandages covering the majority of the left hand side of her body – the short-sleeved, short-skirted uniform had turned out to be a non-negotiable part of the job, which had led her to the solution of wrapping up with bandages in the first place. Worse still was when the questions never came, instead replaced with uneasy glances and accusatory tones, as if she were carrying some foul disease; sometimes, she felt as if she were.

Barely an instant after the announcement came to a long overdue end, she heard a soft knock at the door, pulling her out of her thoughts. She considered ignoring it, given recent past experiences, but she decided to at least take a cursory look through the peep-hole.

Turning the heat on the stove down, she shuffled across the thick pile of the carpet in her mismatched socks, picking up a long-sleeved shirt from the back of the sofa on her way to the door. She had no reason to bandage herself up indoors, but she also had no desire to show off her shame to all and sundry.

Tentatively, she peered through the little viewing hole she'd had installed a little while ago, standing on her tiptoes to get a better look at her visitor.

The first thing she noticed was the hair. Or rather, it was the first thing she noticed after the height of the woman standing at her door; tall. The hair, though, looked to be almost waist length, and a distinct grey-silver, practically identical to Kainé's own.

The second set of knocks startled her; she didn't realise she had spent _that_ long staring. Slowly, she pulled back the latches and unlocked the door. She still left it on the chain, though.

As she poked her head around the opening, the woman turned to face her, with an entirely unreadable expression.

“Kainé, right?”

The very fact that someone she had never even seen around before knew her name had set alarm bells ringing immediately, but she decided to hear her out, against her gut instincts. She needed to know what exactly the deal was, here.

“Who's asking?”

“Just me,” the woman answered.

Kainé furrowed her brow.

“Gonna need more than that,” she replied. “You here for money? I already paid 'em all off, so if you've come to collect, you can fuck right –”

“YoRHa, Attacker Number Two, Capital Division,” she interrupted, placing her left hand over her chest as she spoke. “A2.”

An android, then? What the hell was YoRHa doing out in the sticks?

“Military?” Kainé asked, the shadow of a puzzled frown on her face. “Come to take me back to juvie or something? Little old for that now, y'know.”

“Nah,” A2 replied, waving a hand dismissively. “Just wanted to talk.”

The frown deepened.

“About what?” Kainé said, flatly.

“Dunno if you remember, but,” A2 began, looking a little uneasy, “there was some civilian program, a while back. Voluntary. Memory extraction, transfer, that sorta thing.”

 _Fuck,_ Kainé thought, swallowing hard and averting her eyes. She did remember that – how could she _not_ – but she also definitely remembered being told something else, something very important.

“That shit was all supposed to be confidential,” Kainé choked, disbelief etched across her features.

“Yeah,” A2 said, with a sigh. “It was.”

“Then why – how the fuck do you know where I live?” Why and how were equally important, so she settled for both, in the end.

“War's over, classified isn't classified any more.” A2 spoke softly, almost apologetically. “Really, just wanted to talk to you. No need to be so touchy.”

Kainé eyed the android up and down, doing her best to not make it look obvious. It was hard to get a good look, thanks to the blazing summer sun, but she managed to hide her curiosity behind a hard squint. Whoever she was, the android didn't look like much. She was dressed lightly for military, to say the least – a black tank top covered her chest, paired with a short denim skirt and heels. Her joints were all clearly visible, almost like a doll's. It was more than a little disconcerting.

“It wasn't voluntary,” Kainé corrected her. “Not for us.”

“Right,” A2 said, unsure where exactly to take that line of conversation.

“So why are _you_ here?”

“Your memories,” A2 muttered. “Take a guess who got them.”

Kainé made to close the door, hastily, without saying a word. She'd heard enough already. The other woman reacted faster, managing to hold it open with what seemed to be no effort at all for her.

“That's just way too fucked up,” Kainé bristled, still trying to force the door shut. “You really think I can talk to someone who knows all that stuff?”

“You think I'm here to judge?” A2 fired back indignantly, refusing to let up on her own pressure against the door. “We're all just trying to figure out who the hell we are now we're done fighting!”

“You're an android, right? Why don't you just go right back to whoever put that shit inside your head, tear it out, and leave me alone?”

“I can't do that!” A2 shouted back, though she sounded more desperate than angry. “'That shit' is – that's what kept me alive, alright?! So don't tell me to throw it all away, when it means so much to me now, too!”

The way she argued back was so painfully like arguing with herself that it was becoming genuinely unnerving, fast. The look in her eyes held a steely determination that she hadn't felt herself for what felt like the longest time, but she recognised it all the same. Kainé's expression softened.

“I just... I just want to see what you're like, just for a little bit,” A2 said, lowering her voice again. “Please.”

Kainé exhaled heavily, letting her forehead fall against the inside of her door with a dull thump.

“Fine,” she said, resignedly, pulling away from the door and unfastening the chain, “but you're gonna be pretty disappointed.”

As the android stepped inside, Kainé began to work at locking the door again, starting at the bottom latch, making her way upwards.

“Trying to lock me in, or is there someone you really want to keep out?” A2 asked, puzzled.

Kainé frowned as she drew the last of the locks into place. She figured there was little point in keeping things from the one person who was likely to know everything she was trying to hide, anyway.

“Second one,” she said, darting quickly to the kitchen to check on her food. It looked like it'd still be a little while longer. “My ex.”

“The same one you met in...?”

“Juvenal, yeah,” Kainé answered, leaning on the door frame to the kitchen, as she watched A2 taking a look around her living room. “Fucked up then, even more fucked up now.”

“Sorry to hear it,” A2 said, meandering around the room, before stopping at a small display cabinet that rested atop an old chest of drawers. “You mind if I take a look at some of this stuff?”

“Knock yourself out,” Kainé responded, buttoning her shirt up, so that she could stop holding it over herself haphazardly. “You seriously came here, just for this?”

“Yeah,” A2 murmured, absently. “You won these in middle school, right?”

She was pointing to a small collection of dusty trophies and medals – mostly for track and field – on the bottom shelf. They were clearly untouched, as if the glass door hadn't been opened in years.

“Yeah, got that whole thing from my grandma,” Kainé said, giving the cabinet in question a complicated look. “She's the one who forced me into entering all that shit.”

“Yeah... I remember,” A2 said, sounding apologetic again. Seeing the spoils of victory herself through her own eyes, after remembering each and every sprint to the finish line – it was almost surreal.

“You don't have to sound so...” Kainé began, her eyebrows knitting together in a strange mix of pity and discomfort. She took a deep breath, before continuing. “Look, sorry I acted like that, but this is...”

“Messed up,” A2 finished for her, tearing her gaze from the cabinet. “Yeah. I know.”

“I didn't have a choice, and I'm gonna guess you didn't pick 'em out,” Kainé said, taking a few steps further into the room. “If it's gonna help, stick around a bit. You eat?”

“Nah, it's hell on my internals,” A2 said, with an attempt at a smile that wasn't entirely successful. “Honestly, didn't know what to expect coming here, but thanks.”

“Don't mention it.”

“You used to live in the city,” A2 said. It almost sounded like it could've been a question, but it wasn't.

“Yup.”

“How come you ended up out here? She didn't leave that house to you?”

Kainé scoffed.

“Wasn't anything left by the time she died,” she recalled. “Around eight or so guys came to the house, before she was even cold. All collecting. Turns out she had a whole lot of debt.”

“Bit of a step down moving in here, then,” A2 commented, grimly, looking at the dishevelled state of the tiny apartment. “What're your two doors, then? Bedroom, bathroom?”

“I fucking wish,” Kainé seethed. It was evidently a sore spot. “Bathroom, closet – the bedroom's the couch, so I guess you could say it's a 'step down'. Got me away from a lot of bad shit, but yeah, little bit of a trade-off. Sorry it's not the cushy life you thought it'd be.”

“Like it matters,” A2 said, letting out a hollow, empty laugh. “Me, I'm living in some 'retirement' complex for people like me right now. Not like I'm used to better.”

“What d'you even do now?” Kainé asked, genuinely curious. “They rope you in for that reconstruction shit yet?”

“They tried,” A2 shrugged. “Turned it down. Getting old now, but I still help out at the rehabilitation center there.”

“How old is old?”

“Hell, ancient,” replied A2, with a smirk. “Six years, soon. You?”

“Twenty-two,” replied Kainé, wondering if that really was ancient to androids or not. “Mind if I ask something?”

“Go for it,” A2 said, turning to face her.

“Do you just see little slices of my life? Or d'you remember everything the same way I do?”

A2 pursed her lips. “Dunno if it's what you want to hear, but yeah, it's everything. If I wanted, I could watch your whole damn life like it's a movie.”

Kainé shifted uncomfortably on the spot.

“When you say like a movie, you mean it like you're in the seats, watching it, right?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Kainé said, looking to the side, “are you just watching the movie, or are you acting in it?”

A wave of simulated nausea hit A2, once she realised just what it was that Kainé was asking; she wanted to know if the feelings and the emotions behind the memories were there for her, too.

“The second one,” A2 said, after a long, uncomfortable pause. It was such an excruciating silence, that it almost didn't need to be said at all. “All your memories feel just like mine. Like I really... lived them.”

“Fuck,” Kainé whispered, running a shaking hand through her untidy hair. “Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why'd they do this to you?”

“We were prototypes. They needed new models, so they could –”

“I don't mean literally why, jackass! I mean that one person going through this shit was too much already,” Kainé spat. “I'm sorry you had to see it all too, alright?”

“You can't choose what's coming to you in your life,” A2 said, shaking her head. “You or me. This is just what we got. Just happens that it wound up the same shit that we went through, in the end.”

“If I didn't get dragged off to juvie for some petty shit, then they couldn't have forced me into it, and you wouldn't have gotten crammed full of –”

“Would you shut the hell up?” A2 interjected, raising her voice just enough to make a point. Like the last time, Kainé could tell that it wasn't confrontational in the least. It was just the way she reacted – much like her. “You're gonna waste the rest of your life thinking about 'what if'?”

“You should fucking know I'm not gonna do that, if you remember that much,” Kainé said, with a heavy sigh. “They seriously sent you into a war with just that?”

“Besides basic training? Yeah, pretty much,” A2 replied. “They wanted fresh data. Not quite that cut and dry, but it's not important.”

“It's important,” Kainé stated. A2 didn't feel much like arguing.

“They overlay the memories on top of a... hell, it's weird explaining this stuff,” A2 said, rubbing the back of her neck, as she angled her head towards her hand. It exposed the joint between her neck and jaw, making Kainé crane her own neck to get a better look. It looked decidedly uncomfortable. “There's base personality templates, and – you listening, or just gonna stare?”

“Uh, yeah,” Kainé stuttered. As intense and far-reaching as her abrasiveness was, she didn't really feel like pissing off the battle-hardened war veteran was the best idea. “Didn't mean to.”

“Anyway, '2' is a personality,” A2 went on, more vaguely amused than bothered. “Dunno who made them, don't really care, but there's a lot, and they're all different.”

“Does it actually make a difference, in the end?”

A2 nodded. “Depending on the template, you're gonna have a whole new perspective on your implanted memories – so, put yours in a '6' instead of a '2' and you're gonna get an entirely different person.”

“So what's... I dunno, I don't wanna be weird,” Kainé almost asked. A2's mannerisms were entirely human, but the fact that she wasn't left a whole lot of room for accidentally offending her.

“Gotta admit, haven't talked to a whole lot of humans, really,” A2 said, “but whatever you need to ask, go ahead.”

“What's '2' good for, then?”

“Sorry, but that's one thing I can't answer,” A2 said, rolling her shoulders softly. “Far as I know, I'm the only one around, and even I don't know shit about what went into putting it together.”

“Right,” Kainé said, a little put out. “What's '6' like?”

“A pain in the ass,” A2 remarked. “You smell burning?”

“Oh, fuck,” Kainé exclaimed, bolting for the kitchen again, all thoughts of memories and androids pushed instantly from her mind. Her bitter voice called through from the adjoining room. “Ruined. Nice.”

She returned with the pan, tipping it upside down to illustrate her point, then showing A2 the interior.

“Looks it,” A2 said, peering up at the blackened, rubbery remains of what could've been a tasty enough meal. “Got anything else?”

“Nah,” Kainé said, tossing it through the door frame, and into the waiting sink. It was an impressive shot, given the distance. “Doesn't matter, it's just one night.”

“You skip meals?” A2 asked. She took a long, hard look at the girl in front of her, for the first time; the long-sleeved, loose shirt practically hung off of her body, but she could see by her gaunt cheeks alone that she hadn't been eating enough. The dark circles under her eyes didn't reassure A2 any, either.

“Yeah, well, bet you skip a whole lot more than I do,” Kainé deflected, trying to ignore the obvious eyeballing. It was a lot more uncomfortable being on the receiving end.

“We only just met, so I don't wanna be too forward,” A2 started, before trailing off. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to ask. The circumstances were hardly –

“But?” Kainé chided, interrupting her train of thought.

“We could go for dinner and talk more,” A2 suggested, cautiously. “I get if you don't want to, but...”

“You paying?”

A2 was taken aback.

“What?”

“Are – you – paying?” Kainé repeated, accentuating every word with an ever-increasing tilt of her head. “You don't eat, so, y'know. Gotta check.”

“I guess?” A2 said, still surprised. She hadn't expected her to agree. She'd expected to be thrown out for pushing her line, so soon.

“Then go wait outside while I get dressed,” Kainé said, gesturing at the door. “Won't take long.”

“There's like eight flavours of lock,” A2 said, bluntly. “Can't I just look the other way?”

“Whatever,” Kainé muttered, picking out her rolled up bandages from underneath a blanket on the sofa. “But don't even think about looking, got it?”

A2 nodded, slowly, before turning to look out of the stained, dirty window, past the balcony and into the parking lot for the complex.

“We didn't just meet, anyway,” Kainé called, from behind her. “Think we've spent plenty of time together by now.”

 

 _Messed up,_ thought A2, breathing a sigh of relief all the same.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LIED  
> I'M UPLOADING IT RIGHT NOW
> 
> Seriously though, I'm gonna keep both fics running at once, rather than waiting it out. It'll be daijobu, don't worry.  
> Comments, as always, are very appreciated ((PLEASE LEAVE ME A COMMENT ON THIS CHAPTER OH MY GOD I NEED IT)) and I'd like to thank everyone who left encouraging words on the first chapter!
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

“You ready to go?” Kainé asked, finally. The sun was beginning to dip a little in the sky, and there were a few clouds lingering; though it'd only been an hour or so in total, the day was ticking along, steadily.

A2's hand fell from its supporting position at her cheek, as she stood up straight and turned from her viewing area at the window. She was a little surprised at what she saw in front of her, but she kept her reactions in check nonetheless.

“Yeah,” she replied. “Recent?”

She was pointing at the bandages. Kainé seemed unfazed.

“Nothing you need to worry about.”

Her outfit, at least, wasn't as lacking as A2's own, though it had its own problems. She wore a ragged, baby blue hooded sweatshirt with fraying sleeves, and a mid-length white skirt, replete with a pair of patterned white hi-top sneakers that looked far too big for her tiny frame.

“That in style these days?” A2 asked.

“It is with this pay-check,” Kainé replied, sourly. “Must've missed when dinner started coming with free fashion advice.”

A2 let a dry smile show, as Kainé shook her head and moved to start working at unlocking the veritable fortress at her door.

“What's his problem, anyway?” A2 forced out, halfway through the ordeal. It all seemed a little excessive to her, just for one obsessive ex. “Can't take a hint or something?”

“Guess you weren't around for the breakup,” Kainé said, with a soft little shrug. “Yeah, something like that. You guys date?”

“Androids? Probably,” A2 replied, letting the subject drop. “Wouldn't know. Everything I know about that shit came from you and yours.”

“Whatever you know about any of that, do the opposite,” Kainé said, firmly, as she pulled the door open. “C'mon. Let's go.”

“Right.”

“So, where'd you park?”

“What?”

“Your car. Truck. Whatever. Where'd you park it?”

“I walked.”

“From the city?”

“I walk fast.”

“You've gotta be fucking kidding me,” Kainé fumed, locking the door behind her, a much simpler process than doing it from the inside. “You even know where to eat around here?”

“No clue.”

“Why'd you ask me, then?”

“You don't want to?”

“Shut up,” Kainé bit back. “Guess I get to pick the place, then.”

“Like I care,” A2 said, stretching her arms far above her head and letting out a satisfied exhale.

“Waffle house,” Kainé went on, pointedly ignoring the fact that A2 wouldn't even be eating.

“Huh?”

“Waffle house,” she repeated, pointing from their vantage point on the balcony to a small building a couple of streets away. “Not gonna walk much further, spend enough damn time on my feet.”

“Sure.”

“You really aren't how I imagined someone like you would be,” Kainé said, as they made their way down the stairs at the side of the complex. “Y'know, all this aside, I heard war changes people. For the worse.”

“It does,” A2 replied, tersely.

“Yeah, well, you don't show it,” Kainé continued, folding her arms across her chest as they walked.

“Guess I should be glad,” said A2, her mind wandering a little. “Not exactly how I thought you'd turn out either, come to think of it.”

“You missed out on some pretty garbage years,” Kainé pointed out. “That sorta shit changes people too.”

“Suppose so,” A2 mumbled.

Kainé led them down a side street, past row upon row of run-down, dilapidated houses. Even from her limited knowledge, A2 could tell that this was what they called the wrong side of the tracks.

“Your face is gonna stick that way if you keep twisting it like that,” said Kainé, watching her closely.

“Just didn't think places like this still existed,” A2 replied, trying to pull her expression back into a neutral one.

“Far as I know, they only really bothered with fixing up the cities,” Kainé explained. “Seen some bad shit, but this place really takes the cake.”

“Yeah, no kidding.”

“Won't be here forever anyway,” stated Kainé, resolutely, before tugging on A2's arm lightly. To her surprise, the skin on her arms felt just like her own. “Where're you going? We're here.”

A2 took one more look at the street, before she followed Kainé inside. The overwhelming – and now, oddly familiar – smell of burnt food hit her first, followed by cigarettes and hot syrup. It wasn't altogether an unpleasant mix, but it was certainly strange.

At the very least, it didn't look like an unsavoury place to be. The crowd looked to be mostly teenagers, with some older couples taking up the tables further back.

After Kainé secured them a table beside the window – to people-watch, she said – they took their seats opposite one another, unsure whether to look at each other, or actively avoid it.

It was Kainé that broke the silence.

“You said you worked at a rehab center?”

“Yeah,” A2 said, nodding. “Mostly, it's all the real relics that just won't let go of their old bodies – y'know, so old they need five rounds of maintenance a day, then there's the memory loss unit I work with –”

“Really?” Kainé cut in, incredulous. “ _You_ work with memories?”

“Not like what you're thinking,” A2 said, shaking her head. “Sometimes there's just shit inside their heads we can't fix, so we have to wipe 'em entirely and rebuild their lives from scratch.”

“Right,” Kainé nodded. “Must be nice.”

“There's rules,” A2 went on. “Everything's gotta be put back just the way it was – good, bad, all of it. Actually, it was your government that made it that way.”

“Wait, seriously?”

“Yeah. Huge uproar from our side when they made it law, actually,” A2 said, looking uncomfortable. “Trying to force human values on us, all that shit. Couldn't get it changed in the end.”

“Guess you're stuck suffering like the best of us, then,” Kainé said, leaning back in her seat.

“You never said what you did,” A2 noted.

Kainé roughly gestured to the servers moving between tables, taking orders and carting armfuls of plates around.

“Glamorous shit, I know,” she said, with a scowl.

“Least it pays, right?”

“Totally,” Kainé replied, rolling her eyes and flapping her tattered sleeves at A2. “Like I said, won't be here forever.”

“You mean you're gonna head back to the city?”

“A city, sure,” said Kainé. “Dunno if it's gonna be that one.”

A2 simply watched her expression as she turned to look out of the window. She looked worse for wear, surely, but there was a little glimmer in her eyes when she talked about the future. A2 kept her eyes on her as she called a waitress over, ordering something she didn't quite catch the name of. There was an air of confidence underneath that fragile exterior, just as she remembered, but it seemed fragile and insubstantial, as if the girl beneath it had started to come away at the seams, just like her sweatshirt.

“There something on my face?”

“You're one to talk,” A2 reminded her, pointing at the join at her neck. “You were one step short of asking to touch 'em.”

“They just look uncomfortable, okay?” Kainé said, pouting.

“If you say so,” A2 said with a wry look, shaking her head softly.

“Hey.”

“Yeah?”

“This feel weird to you?” asked Kainé, making eye contact for the first time since they had argued at the door. “Besides the obvious, I mean.”

“Not following,” A2 said, meeting her gaze.

“Hanging out like this. It feel weird to you?”

“Kinda,” began A2, “but you're the one who said we'd already spent plenty of time together.”

“I know what I _said,_ ” Kainé huffed. “I dunno, okay? Not like I'm saying it's bad, just hard to wrap my head around, y'know? Feels like... I'm with a really old friend, and we just got to catch up.”

“Don't have to explain yourself,” A2 said.

“I'm not,” Kainé went on. “Just don't really know how to handle it. _Are_ we friends? Is it too soon to call it that? Too fucked up?”

“Hell if I know,” A2 shrugged. “Can't it just be what it is? Not like we've got anything to compare it to.”

“I... yeah, sure,” Kainé conceded. “Guess we just skipped a few steps, is all.”

“Right, so shut up, and take your whatever-it-is,” A2 said, inclining her head towards the patiently smiling waitress at Kainé's right.

“Damn, you guys are uncultured,” Kainé said, gently taking the much too large plate from the server's hands, and setting it down in front of her.

“We don't eat, so we're uncultured?”

“It's a pecan nut waffle,” started Kainé, sounding almost offended for a moment. “It's got a butterscotch sauce, and those are bananas on top, and that's whipped cream, and –”

“You gonna eat it, or just sit there congratulating it?”

Kainé scowled, before jamming a forkful of everything at once into her mouth. Her countenance shifted from 'mildly annoyed' to 'entirely fulfilled' in a matter of seconds.

“Mmh my ghhd,” she managed to say through a mouth stuffed to capacity, spraying the plate with a smattering of crumbs. “Mhh's snnh ghhd...”

“Yeah, _we're_ the uncultured ones,” A2 scoffed.

“Ghmme nn brhhk,” Kainé mumbled, unable to eat fast enough. “Want some?”

“Already told you I can't,” said A2, the faintest tinge of disappointment in her voice. “Stuff like that'll fuck with me for days.”

“You're telling me one tiny little bite's gonna flatten the pride of YoRHa?” Kainé taunted, waving a laden fork in front of A2's face. “C'mon, just one.”

A2 sighed, before moving to take the fork from her; Kainé seemed to radiate a sense of smug satisfaction.

“So?”

“It'ff ghhd,” A2 said, resignedly.

“Told you so.”

“Hey, your neck,” said A2, pointing at the wrappings as discretely as possible. “Coming loose a little at the top.”

“Ah shit,” Kainé muttered, dropping her fork to the plate instantly with a clatter to fix her bandages. “Thanks.”

“Gonna tell me?”

“Just stuff I don't want people seeing,” Kainé replied. It was barely more of an answer than before, and it looked far from 'just', but A2 let it be. She'd caught enough of a glimpse to know not to pry any further. “How d'you guys get money, anyway?”

“You think YoRHa doesn't know even us lowly androids need to get shit done in the big, scary world?” A2 said, nearly laughing at the absurdity of the question.

“The hell would I know?” Kainé asked, pushing her fork around the plate to collect the sauce on one of the last remaining pieces of food. “So what, they give you like an allowance or something?”

A2 screwed her eyes shut. This girl really was too much.

“Yeah, sure. Just like an allowance.”

“You're only what, six? Yeah, makes sense,” Kainé snickered, as she polished off the last of her waffle. “What d'you even spend it on?”

“Supplies, mostly,” A2 replied, quietly. “Rehab center doesn't get a whole lot of funding, so.”

Kainé paused and smiled for a moment, perhaps the first genuine smile she'd showed in months. There was a certain stillness in the air between them.

“That's nice,” she said after a while, the smile taking on a different emotion entirely. “Really, I'm glad you didn't turn out all... I dunno, bitter and shit.”

“Why would I?”

“'Cause I did,” Kainé muttered. “Feels... weird that you did better with my own life than I did.”

“Don't say something like that,” A2 mumbled back. The atmosphere suddenly felt thicker than the syrup in the bottle next to her. “Wish I had the full picture so I could tell you for sure that I didn't do any better. Just feels so fucking... hollow, otherwise.”

Kainé let out a strangled laugh.

“You'd want more of this shit? Seriously?”

“Just want to understand,” A2 said. Her face was set like stone. “Can't do that if I don't know what comes after the parts I already know.”

Kainé searched her eyes; whether she was looking for some trace of uncertainty, or something else entirely, she couldn't be sure, but she didn't find it.

“Why do you care?”

“Don't know,” A2 half-whispered, not entirely honestly. She wasn't sure if she could say it.

“You can't fix me like you fix up the ones at the center,” Kainé said, looking down at the table.

“I know that,” A2 said, lowering her voice further still. “But when you say shit like that to me, it's just...”

“Really don't want you to think you have some kind of an – I dunno, some fucked up obligation to me, that's all,” Kainé went on, fidgeting with her hands, nervously. It was uncomfortable to watch.

“You think I'd be here if I wasn't ready to deal with it?”

“I dunno what to think,” replied Kainé, in earnest. “Seriously, I don't. No fucking clue.”

“I carried you with me this long,” A2 said, after another long, drawn-out silence. She took a deep breath. “When I was out there with YoRHa, it was... you, with me. You who got me through that shit. Even back then, I already knew they weren't my memories. Knew they weren't me. They're yours. _You_.”

Kainé looked up, taking in every word.

“I used to think all this stupid shit back then,” A2 continued on, taking pauses whenever she felt she needed to brace herself for what she was about to say. “Shit like, 'wonder what she'd think of me right now', or, 'hope she'd think I'm doing a good job' – was like I was fighting for something... I dunno, real. Like I was fighting to keep – to keep _you_ safe.”

She looked up, and caught Kainé's eye for a second. She couldn't quite tell which of the conflicting emotions had made its way to the surface, but she looked visibly shaken.

“They actually told us not to go looking for the memory donors, once we started asking about it,” said A2. “Said it'd make us dissociate, feel like our whole lives were all lies.”

“Then why'd you do it?” Kainé asked, eyes beginning to mist over with the threat of tears. “Why, if you knew it could've fucked with you? Why?”

“Cared too much,” A2 whispered. “Knowing what you went through was just...”

“But you could've –”

“Do I look like I'm having a god-damn meltdown to you?” A2 said, flaring up a little. “Sorry, I just...”

“S'fine,” Kainé mumbled, seeing herself once more, in A2's miniature tantrum. “Don't apologise.”

“21 was the same,” A2 pressed on, after making sure her emotions were in check – or at least, as best as they could be, given the subject matter. “Our Scanner. She was the first to go looking. Found her, too.”

“Yeah? How'd that go?”

“Bad,” said A2, sourly. “Other girl didn't want anything to do with her. Told her she was messing with shit she shouldn't be. Called her all the worst things someone like you could call someone like us.”

“And how'd – 21? – take it?”

“... requested a manual memory wipe a week later.”

“You mean the implanted stuff?”

“All of it.”

“No way,” Kainé gasped. “Why?”

“Got too attached to the girl she thought she knew,” A2 said, sullenly. “Rejection was too much.”

“That's...”

“Yeah. Took me over a year to finally come find you.”

“You waited that long?”

“Didn't know what I'd do if you said the same thing, I guess,” said A2. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted from her aching, weary shoulders, to finally be able to open up about it all.

“You came in the end, though,” Kainé stated.

“Decided it mattered more than whatever else I planned on doing,” A2 replied. “Had to try.”

Kainé brushed the freshly formed tears out of her eyes with her bandaged hand, smudging the three-day old eyeliner she hadn't bothered to get rid of halfway across her forehead.

“You really mean all that?” She sniffled.

“Yeah. I do.”

Kainé looked out of the window, briefly.

“Raining,” she pointed out, wiping her eyes again. “That okay with you?”

“Avoid it when I can help it,” A2 replied, peering out of the grimy window along with her. She could scarcely see a cloud in the sky through the dirt-caked glass, but it didn't look like just a light shower. “Fucks with the joints.”

Kainé's gaze shifted over to A2.

“C'mon, let's get you back to mine.”

“Don't you think –”

“Not now,” Kainé said. “Just shut up and put the money down so we can get moving, before it gets worse.”

They moved to the exit, looking out into the street. The air smelled decidedly fresher than it did before; perhaps because of the rain, or perhaps it was simply relief from the overwhelming aromas of the waffle house.

Kainé crossed her arms in front of her, then lifted her sweatshirt off of her body, leaving her clothed only in a thin, white vest. Inside-out or no, it didn't matter.

“Here,” she said. “Take it.”

“What for?”

“We're gonna make a run for it,” Kainé said, decisively, with a grin on her face. It contrasted wildly with the smeared make-up and bloodshot eyes, but it suited her all the same. “Put it on. Remember the way?”

“Sure,” A2 said, a little startled, “but isn't your stuff gonna get soak–”

“What are you, my grandma?” said Kainé, rolling her eyes. “Would you put it on already?”

A2 obliged, doubting whether it would actually make a difference or not. The sentiment was appreciated, though, and she found herself suppressing a grin of her own.

Kainé ran off without a word as soon as she managed to pull the hood over her head, before turning around as she ran and flashing her that same, wicked smile.

A2 chased after her through the streets, splashing through far too many puddles that she wasn't paying much attention to at all. She was deliberately lagging behind a little; it would hardly be fair if she went all out, even if they hadn't officially called it a race. The image of that smile was glued fast to the forefront of her mind. The long months of worrying, and the years of war had all been worth it to see that.

She was fast on Kainé's heels as they – admittedly somewhat cautiously – bolted up the iron steps wrapping around the outside of the complex; as they finally reached the cover of the concrete overhang above her apartment, Kainé was the first to come to an abrupt stop, panting for breath.

A2 crashed into her unceremoniously, almost bowling her clean over, but quick reactions and solid foundations helped her to steady the pair of them.

“Shit,” A2 cursed, quietly, realising she'd torn a couple of the wet bandages. “Sorry, didn't mean to –”

“Oh would you just... shut... up...” Kainé wheezed, standing as upright as she could, with her hands on her hips, still gasping for air. “That was _awesome_.”

“Yeah, but your –”

“It's alright if it's just you,” Kainé muttered. She bent her knee, fishing around with a finger inside one of her sodden sneakers for her key, then pushed it into the lock. “C'mon, let's get inside.”

She made a mildly confused face when the expected _click_ didn't come.

“I locked this, right?”

“Pretty sure,” A2 said, wracking her short-term memory center. “Yeah, you did.”

“Huh.”

Kainé pushed the door open and stepped inside, with A2 following closely.

The lights were on.

The radio was turned up, and the station was unfamiliar.

A harsh, raspy voice cut across the music; to Kainé, it may as well not have been playing at all.

 

“Hey there, Sunshine,” the voice almost cackled. “Miss me?”

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah jeez, sorry it's been a while. Writer's block got me bad.  
> Hopefully you like this new chapter - let me know what you thought!

“Why so sour, honeypants?”

Kainé was not only uncharacteristically silent in the face of his taunting, but she was practically frozen in place, leaving A2 to move forward in her stead. Of course she, too, recognised that face. That voice.

The man stood up from his seat on the sofa – _her_ sofa, A2 noted, scowling – and moved towards the pair. The person in front of her was definitely the same man from Kainé's memories, but he looked... different. He was tall, around a head or so taller than A2, who herself was a head or so taller than Kainé, but he was thinner, now; he looked drawn, and gaunt, as if there weren't enough skin to cover his body. He'd looked at least vaguely attractive before, from what she remembered, but whatever youthful charm there had been had long since been lost.

His brown, greasy hair hung loosely in equal measures to either side of his unshaven face, framing it like a grotesque, abstract painting of how a man should look. His dark, brown eyes were sunken, not merely deep-set, which made it difficult to discern his expression – or would have, had his thin lips not been drawn into a twisted mockery of a smile.

“Get out, Tyrann,” A2 said firmly, taking up position in front of Kainé. “Now.”

“Kah hah hah! Oh, she told ya about me, did she?” The man turned to Kainé. “Spreading the good word, huh, Sunshine?”

Kainé was frozen, backed against the wall, shivering. A2 took one look at her, realising there was no hope for her to talk back. She'd try to cross that bridge later.

“Did I god-damn stutter?” A2 hissed, taking another step forward, the light from the small desk lamp illuminating her face from below.

“ _Oh,_ ” Tyrann scoffed, barely holding in another malicious laugh, as he caught sight of the obvious android fixtures and fittings all over her body. “Ohoho, got yourself a little machine doll, kid?”

She had been called worse things, she supposed. No use losing it over that.

“You really want me to put you out there myself?”

“Kah hah hah! Can't though, can ya? I know how that works, kid! Can't lay a single finger on a human without the powers that be wrapping you up in your own metal asshole!”

She hesitated for a moment, before advancing on him further. Getting him out was priority number one; she didn't need to know the full story to see what his presence was doing to Kainé.

“You really wanna try me?”

“Ooh, scary,” said Tyrann, derisively, holding his hands up in mock fear. “Don't worry, only came by to grab something, then I can be on my merry little way, and outta your ugly face.”

“Something,” A2 echoed, stepping back and placing a hand on Kainé's quivering shoulder, tenderly. “He actually have anything left here?”

Silently, Kainé shook her already shaking head, tears streaming down her face, freely. A2 nodded once.

“There's nothing here for you,” she said, coldly. “What'd you really come here for?”

“Whaddya take me for, some kinda liar? Only came to pick up what I left behind,” he said, with a stomach-turning grin, before pointing at Kainé.

“Fuck off,” A2 said, disgust etched across every inch of her face. “You stay the hell away from her, got it?”

“Bwahaha! What, you got a thing for her? Think she's all that?” Tyrann crowed. “Hear that, Sunshine? Got yourself an admirer! Who woulda thought someone could still give a shit about someone like you!”

With that, something inside A2 snapped. The calm, collected image she'd been carefully cultivating for the rest of the day shattered instantly, as she lunged forward and grabbed the man's wrist in one quick, fluid motion. The leather of his coat, despite its relative thickness, offered little to no protection against the full crushing pressure of a combat android.

“You either leave right this fucking second, or I'm gonna tear off this worthless, scrawny piece of shit you call a hand and cram it down your miserable throat,” A2 seethed, radiating nothing but pure revulsion.

“I already told ya,” Tyrann hissed, “I ain't leaving without –”

There was a dull, sickening _crunch,_ followed by a loud and nauseating _crack_ , as the bones in both his hand and wrist gave way as easily as fallen twigs on a cold Winter evening.

“Get,” A2 started, leaning in closer to his face without relinquishing her grip on the shattered bones, whispering malevolently, “the hell. Out.”

“You're gonna regret that,” Tyrann spat, grunting and grimacing heavily as she cast his arm away from herself.

“Yeah?” A2 said with a sneer, almost taunting him. She was close enough to his face now to smell a foul mix of cigarettes, motor oil, and what she could only assume was alcohol. “Funny, since I bet I've got more than enough friends to tell whoever you think gives a shit that I was back at base, with them.”

Tyrann hissed, his good hand clenching and unclenching into a fist, over and over again. He strode to the door, still ajar, before stopping at the threshold.

“Don't forget, princess,” he said, voice dripping with venom. “I _own_ you.”

A2 slammed the heavy door shut behind him; she felt it crash into his back, then caught wind of a loud curse. She turned back to Kainé, who still hadn't looked up. She waited a short minute, then took a gentle step towards her.

“He's gone,” A2 whispered, her demeanour softening in an instant. “Don't worry.”

Kainé breathed a shaky exhale.

“Th-the locks,” she managed. “Could you... I mean, can you...”

“Yeah,” replied A2, calmly. “Just sit down, and I'll be right over.”

She was almost positive that if he had wanted to, that man could find a way to break in at any time, even with the indoor security the way it was, but hearing each and every one of the latches and locks click into place seemed to relax Kainé.

“Sorry you had to... see it all...”

“Apologise again, and I'll break yours next,” A2 said, before planting herself next to Kainé on the sofa. The poor attempt at humour drew out a soft, strained laugh from Kainé.

“You're sure you won't get... nothing bad's gonna happen to you for that, right?”

“Relax,” A2 said. “Never mind me. You okay?”

“You really shouldn't've done that,” Kainé murmured, shaking her head, still a little unsteady, even in her seat. “Don't get me wrong, glad you got rid of him, but...”

“What's he gonna do? Bravado me to death?”

“He's gonna be mad,” Kainé whispered. “Real mad.”

“Think I got it covered,” A2 said, placing a hand on the other girl's right shoulder. “You gonna tell me what he did that's got you like that?”

“Where the fuck do I even start,” Kainé breathed. “You gotta understand, he was always... I dunno, one of those possessive, shady characters, but...”

A2 simply nodded, unsure of what to say.

 

There was a long silence.

 

“Help me outta these,” said Kainé, finally, tugging at the edge of one of her bandages.

Their eyes met, in understanding.

It was always easier to show than to try to explain.

Kainé turned to face her, keeping her eyes on A2's knees.

Slowly, carefully, A2 reached out, took hold of the very edge of the still-damp fabric, and leaned forwards. As she passed it from hand to hand, arms at either side of her neck, she felt Kainé's breath at her collarbone. It was still uneven, and they were just as shallow as they were before. For a moment, A2 hesitated, worried that she was making her just as uncomfortable as Tyrann had, but a reassuring hand on her forearm told her otherwise.

Relieved, she continued on, unravelling more and more of the cloth, and revealing the skin beneath. The bandages at her neck came away, after a few minutes of careful effort.

There were scars – far too many to count. Scars from small cuts, scars from big cuts. Clean slices, and rough slashes. A2 could tell easily which were which. She'd seen enough of that sort of the thing in the war.

The scars weren't the only thing. Whether the burns had come before or after was impossible to tell, but it didn't really matter, in the end.

“These,” A2 whispered, brushing the back of her index finger against one of the smaller, circular burns, as delicately as she could. It was a decidedly stark contrast to how she had used the hands mere moments ago. “How?”

“Cigarettes,” Kainé murmured, barely audibly.

“Those should've faded by now,” A2 replied. Admittedly, her knowledge of human anatomy was somewhat limited, but that much, she knew; her own artificial skin bore enough similarities to a human's to compare.

“Same place. Was more than a few times. Don't really think they got much of a chance to go anywhere.”

A2's fingers trailed gently downwards, to a harsh, ugly line just shy of her collarbone. She ran a fingertip along it, her eyebrows knitting together in concern.

“Curling iron,” Kainé stated, before A2 could ask.

“Why?”

“'Cause he could.”

“Gonna guess you didn't want to stick around for it,” A2 muttered, sourly.

“Said he'd do worse if I left,” Kainé whispered, each word raw against her throat. “Was scared.”

“God-damn rat,” A2 hissed. “That why you left the city, in the end?”

Kainé nodded slowly, as A2 began to peel away the moist linen from her shoulder, and her upper arm.

“Yeah – mostly, anyways. Was staying with some kid for a while, then his sister got outta hospital after what, like seven years? Had to move out, decided I'd try to get away,” Kainé explained. “Worked out well, right?”

“How'd you meet him? The kid, I mean,” A2 asked, her fingers touching at the remnants of deeper cuts in the arm. It was a wonder there hadn't been more than superficial damage, given how fragile Kainé looked.

“Group counselling,” Kainé said, smiling softly at the bittersweet memory. “Had some real bad shit happen to him too, when he was younger.”

“Kid have a name?”

“Yeah, Nier,” Kainé said, as the last of the bandages on her arm came away. “What about you?”

“What?”

“You don't have a name?” asked Kainé, recovering a little. “A2's not just some kinda code?”

“Nah, that's all we get,” A2 said, rolling up the linen tightly, before taking a hold of Kainé's forearm. “These ones, what're –”

“Tally marks,” Kainé interjected, and on seeing A2's confused face, went on. “Y'know, notches on the bedpost. 'Cept I was the bedpost.”

A2 shook her head, her hands moving to the top of the bandages at the other girl's thigh.

“It's worse,” Kainé warned, making A2 frown again.

“Why all on this side? I mean, why the hell at all, but...”

“Made me lie on it,” muttered Kainé. “So he didn't have to look at it.”

“More I hear, more I wish I just mashed his god-damn head into his shoulders instead,” A2 sighed.

“Don't,” Kainé said in response, more than a tinge of worry in her voice.

“Don't what?”

“Do anything stupid.”

“Like what?”

“Like anything that's gonna get you into deep shit,” Kainé mumbled. “Even if you get away with this, he's... right about one thing.”

“What's that?”

“That we get free rein when it comes to you.”

There was an uncomfortable silence, that A2 broke, after some time.

“Yeah. I know.”

“I only just got to fucking meet someone who understands me,” Kainé said, “so don't you dare god-damn take that away from me over pond scum like that, got it?”

A2 smiled, despite herself. It was another glimpse of the girl she remembered.

“Don't remember saying I understood you,” she remarked with a little smile, as she finished removing the last of the bandages. As Kainé had said, the scarring was far worse on her leg than it had been anywhere else – which was saying something, all things considered.

“God, fuck off. Smart-ass.”

“Glad you're feeling a little more like yourself,” A2 said, almost happy to witness a return to the foul language. “Doesn't look as bad as you think.”

“Yeah, I know, looks worse. Told you so,” muttered Kainé, looking down at her own leg with disdain. Evidently, the telling of the white lie hadn't played out as A2 had hoped. “Think I could get one of yours instead?”

“Can always run it by Command when I go back later,” A2 scoffed.

Kainé's face fell.

“Later?” she asked, quietly. “You mean like, tonight later?”

When A2 next spoke, it was almost as soft as the sound of the rain hitting the small window, high up on the wall, as the realisation hit her. “You gonna be okay?”

Kainé seemed to struggle with her answer, but her shaking hands told A2 all she needed to know. She didn't want a repeat of what she'd seen earlier, whether she was around for it or not.

“I'll stay,” A2 whispered. “Don't worry.”

“I didn't mean... look, fuck, you don't _have_ to –”

“Stop,” said A2, firmly. “It's nothing.”

“I don't even have anywhere for you to fucking sleep,” Kainé said, looking a little distressed again. “Wait, you do sleep, right?”

“Not tonight,” replied A2, shaking her head. “Go wash up or whatever, then we'll talk, alright? Until you feel like taking a rest.”

“Yeah, you're really going for the grandma vibe,” Kainé remarked, as she walked over to the sink. “...thanks.”

A2 offered a weak smile, then turned away. She looked down at the tattered, ragged bandages beside her, clenching her jaw tightly shut.

Even androids cried, sometimes.

 


End file.
